The opportunity to create a Permission Canvas, as an AWBW facilitator, was very timely for me. I realized there are so many things I don’t give myself permission to do. I picked feeling safe and warm because during the training I realized that I had a big connection to those two things including memories of a thermostat being ripped off the wall because I had changed it. I am a domestic violence (DV) and sexual assault survivor.
I have repressed memories from my DV days. Through the use of the lessons in the training and the permission canvas several of my memories are being released. Along with traumatic ones always come joyful ones that were trapped in time as well. Those are what I hold onto.
The reason I chose to draw a fireplace as a symbol of “safe and warm” is because it is the fireplace at Cracker Barrel restaurant. When I was small I went there with my family on a rare restaurant visit. I loved seeing the fireplace and looking at the things on the wall. I remember feeling so safe. I had enough to eat and fell asleep in the car on the way home. When my girls were small we started going to Cracker Barrel for breakfast and still do today (they are now in their twenties). It’s still a place of warmth and safety for me and now them.
I had many people help me along the way to freedom and now I’d like to help others using my art.
Because of my DV past I found CT-ALIVE (Connecticut Alliance for Victims of Violence & Their Families) and through them found AWBW. I started art consulting with CT-ALIVE and working with my peers and I love it. It’s amazing to me how powerful the AWBW lessons are. I plan on offering both zoom and live classes to DV and SA communities as well as my pre-k classroom that usually has several individuals that have experienced trauma. I’m also considering working with individuals with autism and disabilities as I have a daughter with autism as well as individuals in my class. My goal is to add peaceful moments to people that need it.