A good friend of mine, Dougie, crossed over the Rainbow Bridge at the end of May. He was only 56 years old. Within days of his passing, his widow, Sigrid, and I began talking about how brave he was – the way he handled his diagnosis, the thousand decisions that came with it, and ultimately his transition. The day of his services I texted Sigrid and said “Let’s be #DougieBRAVE today. Let’s do this.” Since then we use the term on the regular.

Dougie was one of the most authentic people I have had the honor to know, love, and share my life with. We shared a spiritual connection, having sat in sweat lodges together, and Dougie also drummed at our first Family Bear Dance. He was more than a good friend; he was my brother.

I had been thinking about a tattoo or art piece that would represent #DougieBrave, honoring his journey and the healing journey we were all on as we navigated this world without his physical presence. I had talked with my good friend and tattoo artist about it and had been thinking about a feather – as they represent freedom and I liked the thought of Dougie being free and flying with our winged relatives now.

I had never drawn a feather and I recalled Nikki Crow’s Fix Your Side of the Feather workshop. To be honest I went to the workshop to get a template to reference for the feather – a place to start. But as I read the workshop and Nikki’s guidance encouraging us to think about how we take action towards truth, justice and healing for Native Communities, I was inspired to really think about how I am doing that on a daily basis.

I reflected on how Dougie treated everyone as family, calling everyone within his many circles brother or sister. Within Native Communities we use the Lakota greeting “Mitakuye Oyasin” which means “All My Relations.” As I was creating the feather, thinking about Dougie, and reflecting on how I can honor my Native Ancestors, I came up with “Living Mitakuye Oyasin” – as Dougie did – treating everyone he met as family. As my parents did, always ready to pull up another chair and set another place at the table for anyone who may stop by.

I hope to honor my ancestors by truly living “All my relations,” treating others as family as Dougie did, and my family continues to do.

After sketching the feather, I painted a large feather on a door in my house. I used the rainbow colors to signify honoring the journey – from the Chumash Creation Story to someday going home over the Rainbow Bridge. The rainbow also honors the diversity and intersectionality of all living beings and our experiences.

Around the feather I wrote “Living Mitakuye Oyasin: Honoring the Journey, from Creation to Going Home over the Rainbow Bridge.” My parents believed, and I wrote “Love is Eternal,” a saying that reminds us the love does not die with them, it continues once we come out of that grief cloud and our brains reorganize to our new reality – the love is still there.

It is “A Beautiful Journey.” Even with the grief – grief is really just love. Love that needs to be transformed, reallocated, adjusted to cover the loss of a loved one. “A beautiful journey,” I tell my new sister-bestie Sigrid as we adjust to whatever this week’s journey will bring and navigate the waters of grief.

While not intentional, I have come to see the fact that I painted the feather on an actual, physical door as a portal to my healing. All of these moments along my journey – #DougieBRAVE, the feather, Living Mitakuye Oyasin, Sigrid – all of it bringing me comfort and reminding me that even in the depths of grief, there is love, there is hope, there is healing, and my ancestors are always there, cheering me on.

You can check out Elizabeth’s website with links to her other AWBW contributions here or follow her on Instagram @blossomswindows.